We all get hit by life’s slings and arrows from time to time. They can come from a resident critic—a family member, friend, or co-worker who always finds something wrong—or as the occasional put-down that catches you by surprise. What do you do when an insult is hurled your way, privately or public ally? Do you pretend you didn’t hear it or hurl an insult right back? Do you internalise it or get angry and lash out?
You may not be able to stop someone’s nasty words or careless actions, but you can change how you deal with those barbs. They don’t have to take you down or tempt you to retaliate. Try these 10 healthy and empowering tips to meet insults and criticism gracefully and appropriately.
Tip #1: Assess Criticism and Who It Is Coming From
It’s important to get an accurate read on a situation to decide the best way to respond. There’s a big difference between constructive criticism from someone who loves you and getting bashed by someone who steals the stage to discredit you. You’ll need to get some objectivity before deciding whether it’s right to speak up or let it go.
Try this: Pull away from the situation and look at it without ego, as if you were observing someone else’s life. Is it possible you are being overly sensitive, or has someone treated you like a doormat without good reason? A clear sense of which it is will help you find the best solution.
Tip #2: Acknowledge Your Feelings
Pressure can build up when you don’t acknowledge what’s bothering you. When someone hurts you, especially someone close to you, you may stuff your feelings below the surface to avoid a confrontation. But your feelings are a key part of your internal guidance system—they warn you when something is wrong. By ignoring feelings, you create a larger problem to deal with later. By accepting the messages they bring, you’ll be able to deal more effectively with issues from the start.
Try this: Rather than slamming a lid over your emotions, notice them as they arise--without judging yourself or blaming others for making you upset. Ask yourself: If my feelings could talk right now, what would they say? What is this feeling asking me to do? What new choices can I make to help me feel at peace about this situation?
What authentic people do differently than the rest of us, and how you can too
We tend to value “genuine” people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being “fake”—but why is that? After all, what motivates “fakeness” is an effort to appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing regardless of what we think?
Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three basic reasons:
Genuine people speak their mind.
This is actually a two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out opinions with others. The manner in which they share their opinions also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right. One thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and perspectives is…
Genuine people respond to internal expectations, not external ones.
Genuine people spend time thinking about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction and purpose in life. Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were raised. Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave because you’re then likely to do the following…
Genuine people forge their own paths.
Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes others take to achieve their goals. Therefore, genuine people search for and discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven path is that not all your efforts will be successful. However…
Genuine people are not threatened by failure.
The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly “proven” and “safer,” and therefore more likely to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) traveled is risky and can lead to failure. Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow. Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening…
Genuine people can admit their faults.To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good. As such, genuine people are likely to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result. Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that…
Genuine people are not judgmental of others.Being honest about their own faults and embracing individuality and differences leads genuine people to be less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them. Their fundamental assumptions about human complexity and their reluctance to view people via the lens of bias or preconceived expectations allows them a purer perspective that usually leads to direct and honest interactions and relationships. And all of the habits listed above stem from one core psychological characteristic of genuine people…
Genuine people have solid self-esteem.Having solid self-esteem means having stable self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low. (Narcissists, for example, have high but brittle self-esteem.) As a result, genuine people can tolerate and absorb failure and criticism, admit their faults, and be accepting of others because they are not threatened by imperfection. Indeed, having solid self-esteem means, by definition, that you can absorb both negative and positive feedback and acknowledge aspects of your character that might need work or improvement without diminishing your overall sense of self-worth.
For scientifically proven ways to manage failure and enhance self-esteem check out Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts (Plume, 2014).
Written By Guy Winch PhD.
Originally published on Psychology Today
Copyright 2015 Guy Winch
“As I began to love myself, my relationship with everyone changed.’
The simple meaning of being unfuckwithable is that you do not let anyone or anything bother you. It’s the highest state of your existence, of things you do, of place you live, of every moment of your life. It’s about being at peace with oneself so much that no action from outside can disrupt that.
Unfuckwithable is that state of being where you are completely in tune with your soul and free of expectations and attachments.
You have come to understand that expectation and attachment make you vulnerable and that makes you fuckwithable. You have learnt to let go of these vulnerabilities. You don’t have anything to win or lose. You have gone beyond the finite gameplay and embraced the infinite gameplay, continuing to be in the game without any particular motif. That makes you the strongest soul among all. You have truly understood the purpose of your existence.
If you are not sure whether you are unfuckwithable or not, here are
6 Signs That Say You’re Unfuckwithable(1) You have realized your self-worth:“Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart.
(1) You know the unique person you truly are. You are confident about yourself and no-one or nothing can push you into questioning this uniqueness. In fact, it is your ingenuity which acts as a fingerprint of your soul and can even mould a negative energy into a positive one.
(2) You focus on the thing you can control and leave the things you can’t:“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free.
You understand that it’s your own behaviour and actions which you can control. You also know that you can’t control others and so, you let go of the attachments and expectations. You embrace uncertainty and don’t get disturbed by the things you can’t take control of. You are more focused on yourself.
(3) You love yourself:“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ― C. JoyBell C.
You do not care if others love you or hate you. You treat your lovers and haters alike. You love yourself and that matters the most. This self-love removes all your insecurities. You are not scared of darker times because you have yourself and you know you can pass through it.
(4) You live life fearlessly:“To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” ― Taylor Swift.
You are more than willing to get out of comfort zone and face your fears. You accept all the challenges with a smiling face and evolve so that you can deal with them. You are continuously moulding yourself to face these obstacles. You are also well aware that you might lose everything but doesn’t stop you.
(5) You forgive:“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” ― Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism.
You understand that emotions like anger or hurt only pulls you back. No matter how wrong a person is, you forgive them and move on because you don’t have any attachments with anyone. Since actions of others don’t affect you, you can easily forgive. You know that past if past and only you can’t do anything about it. But you can change the future by actions of your present and you make the best out of it by forgiving and letting go off the attachments.
(6) You live your life on the edge:“Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass.
You live every day as if tomorrow might never exist. Nothing can pull you back; you don’t care about any shackle. You embrace what this universe has to offer; you let yourself sail on the flow of this universe. By doing this, you embrace positivity and spread positivity wherever you go.
Emilia Gordon November 30, 2017
If any of these animals accidentally cross your path, powerful omens are presented to you according to ancient cultures and their Old Ways.
Omens and the Old Religion During the Old Times, animals and plants were all associated with Gods and Goddess. Athena had Owl as her sacred animal while Poseidon protected Horses and Artemis (Diana) deers. Everyone had a soft spot for animals, therefore close encounters with animals were supposed to be divine interventions at some point. We have selected the ones who are considered to be the most powerful omens of all.
An important notice before analysing the omens. Sometimes, the “accidental” appearances of Animals can be the encounters of our Totem Animals, trying to catch our attention. For more information about how to find out your Totem Animal click here.
Owls are believed to be harbingers of doom and carriers of unimaginable wisdom at the same time.(Read here more about Owls as totem animals) Maybe owls know things and they appear to warn us about what is coming – usually something huge – either this is for good or ill. Owls have been associated with many gods and goddess but one of the most powerful association is with Athena (Minerva) the Goddess of Wisdom in Ancient Greece.
When an Owl appears one has to be extra careful about his/her next steps as the Owl tries to make us ready for what’s coming (it doesn’t have to be bad but it’s certainly very important or even life-changing). If you are a Witch, the appearance of an Owl probably means that our magic is strong and we should be very careful with the energies we summon. We should choose wisely!
Owls are not omens of Bad Luck or Harbingers of Doom (they can be if we see two owls fighting and shouting over a house). They are messengers of Great News. Owls are considered Royal Birds, therefore seeing them can be considered as omens of success.
Spiders are also associated with the Goddess Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom. Spiders are also considered sacred animals as their web symbolises that we are all connected with each other and all nature. However, the appearance of a Spider does not have the same meaning as Owls. Spiders are trying to “ward” or remind us of a friend.
In ancient time Spiders were omens for a friend (either from the past or a close friend). We will probably soon meet this friend who is going to give us brand new information. In general, Spiders are good omens, bearers of Good Luck.
“If you find a spider at night, it means good luck.” Kemp P. Battle
You walk by the street thinking of your daily routine when for some reason a cat caught your attention. You refuse to believe that this is important but the cat for some reason follows you and tries even harder to make you turn around. The cat is the personification of intuition (click here to read more about Cats as totem animals). When a Cat appears out of nowhere and for some reason and you can’t help but notice their weird and cute moves, it’s an omen (or omens) that you have to listen to your heart.
Cats are associated with powerful and Wise Goddesses like Bast, Freya and Brigid. The weird cat symbolises your hidden magical and spiritual powers which now you have to listen. If you are a witch then you should probably be more careful the next time you cast a spell as the cat tries to warn you that you’ve probably had to get in touch with your higher self before you cast more spells. The Colours of cats do matter:
White Cats: symbolise fertility and change in romantic affairs
Orange Cats: symbolise different planes of existence and spiritual travels
Black Cats: symbolise the change of Luck (for good or ill) and Wisdom
1. Pain In Your Head.
Pain in your head, like headaches, can be caused by stresses of the day. Take some time to relax and ease the stress every day.
2. Pain In Your Neck.
If you feel pain in your neck, you may have trouble forgiving others or yourself. If you’re feeling neck pain, consider the things you love about people.
3. Pain In Your Shoulders.
Shoulder pain may indicate that you’re carrying a heavy emotional burden. That’s where the saying “shouldering a problem” comes from. Focus in on some proactive problem solving and distributing some of that burden to other people in your life.
4. Pain In Your Upper Back.
Upper back pain means you don’t have enough emotional support. You may feel unloved and unwanted. If you’re single, this may mean it’s time to go out on a date or two.
Ever wanted to be in more than one place at a time? That’s right, I’m talking about the super-human abilities that can be gained by those who follow the protocol for what’s known as sun-gazing, a valid practice recently confirmed by NASA.
Many proponents of this ancient technique, used by many cultures such as Mayan, Egyptian, Aztec, Tibetian and Indian yoga, report not only healing benefits to common illnesses, but obtaining super-human abilities such as advanced telepathy and going completely without the need for food.
Nikola Tesla quoted
“My idea is that the development of life must lead to forms of existence that will be possible without nourishment and which will not be shackled by consequent limitations. Why should a living being not be able to obtain all the energy it needs for the performance of its life functions from the environment, instead of through consumption of food, and transforming, by a complicated process, the energy of chemical combinations into life-sustaining energy?”
The Spiritual Awakening Symptoms
1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your DNA level as the "Christ seed" awakens within. More important, your Merkabah, energetic transportal Body, has/is being upgraded and made new. This will be explained and understood more fully as you progress. Suffice to say, ageing, dis-ease, and limitations are freed with-in this New Experiencing Device.
2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness. Literally... pieces, parts... "aspects" of YOU are being seen and released/transmuted appropriately. Although, many may not seem difficult to release, others are comfortable personalities that must be reconciled. Say, "good bye," I love you. You have served me well. I no longer need you."
3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to #2 above. It's good and healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. There's a multitude of emotional energies within you now... try not to focus on the "why" and just feel, allow..
Photo Source: LiveLearnEvolve
By: Marc and Angel You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways before it finally gets through to you? The ten truths listed below fall firmly into that category – life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, but for whatever reason, haven’t fully grasped.
This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…
1. The average human life is relatively short.
We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.
LIVE your life TODAY! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive. Be bold. Be courageous. Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.
2. You will only ever live the life you create for yourself. Your life is yours alone. Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you. They can walk with you, but not in your shoes. So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense.
Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t. Be productive and patient. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices. May your actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips. May your success be your noise in the end.
And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Addiction to technology “is placing the screen as an object of ‘mass subculture’, alienating the relation to our own body, and more generally to the physical world.”Antonie Geiger is a 20-year-old photographer from France who has perfectly outlined how our electronics are sucking the life out of us. They consume out attention tricking us into thinking it is about affection and all the while distracting us from living our present physical lives.
When we are not grounded in the present moment we are disconnecting. Since many of us are on a path of seeking connection we need to remember to keep our electronic tools in balance with our interpersonal connections.
Antonie Geiger said the project was a part of some of the research he is doing in order to better understand this “mass subculture” where we are addicted to screens. We alienate anyone physically around us while we are fooled to think we are really connecting.
“Mankind, which in Homer’s time was an object of contemplation for the Olympian gods, is now one for itself. Its self-alienation has reached such a degree that it can experience its own destruction as aesthetic pleasure of the first order.” -Walter Banjamin
Health Concerns:Recently we talked about how the electronic fields around us are being pulled into our cells. These electrical signals could be interfering with our cells signals and in turn causing health problems.
Studies have shown us that using mobile phone frequently can cause impaired memory and concentration, fatigue, dizziness, headaches and disturbed sleep.
All of these medical issues come from radiation sickness and the radiation comes from the mobile phone. There are now also concerns in the medical world that some people may be developing electrosensitivity or IEI-EMF when they are over exposed to the electromagnetic fields of their phone.
Back in 2014 58% of the states World Health Organization advised the public to reduce their exposure to radio frequencies.
They advise that we use some sort of hands-free kit so the phone isn’t close to our bodies, to try and keep our phone calls shorter, avoid making phone calls when your battery or signal is low (radiation is higher when the phone signal is low), and to use phones what are designed to have a low specific absorption rate (SAR).
Other countries have already started to protect their children from over-exposure to electronics. For example in France WiFi was banned in toddlers’ nurseries and in 2015 Taiwan implemented a ban on toddlers under the age of two using a mobile phone or other similar electronic device.
Medical and psychological studies have shown that heavy cell phone use increases sleep disorders in men and increases depressive symptoms in both women and men.
People who are constantly reachable via their cell phone were much more likely to report issues with mental health. Maybe being constantly available isn’t good for us.
It isn’t just cell phones, in a study of men they found that overuse of computers causes sleep problems.
Using computers and other glowing screens at night is also linked with stress, depressive symptoms and sleep disorders in women and men.
If you work or play on a computer for long periods of time without breaks you are at risk for sleep problems, stress, and depressive symptoms.
The studies also found that those who use bother computer and phones excessively increased all of the above health risks.
Social ConcernsStatistically, in the US we are glued to our phones. We actually use them a lot more than we are aware. It becomes this deep-rooted impulse. Have you ever noticed that when you forget your phone you have an empty feeling? This pull, like an addiction, is very similar to all other distraction based addictions.
Magic happens in the present moment and yet we are seemingly terrified of being here.