What authentic people do differently than the rest of us, and how you can too
We tend to value “genuine” people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being “fake”—but why is that? After all, what motivates “fakeness” is an effort to appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing regardless of what we think?
Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three basic reasons:
Genuine people speak their mind.
This is actually a two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out opinions with others. The manner in which they share their opinions also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right. One thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and perspectives is…
Genuine people respond to internal expectations, not external ones.
Genuine people spend time thinking about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction and purpose in life. Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were raised. Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave because you’re then likely to do the following…
Genuine people forge their own paths.
Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes others take to achieve their goals. Therefore, genuine people search for and discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven path is that not all your efforts will be successful. However…
Genuine people are not threatened by failure.
The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly “proven” and “safer,” and therefore more likely to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) traveled is risky and can lead to failure. Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow. Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening…
Genuine people can admit their faults.To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good. As such, genuine people are likely to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result. Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that…
Genuine people are not judgmental of others.Being honest about their own faults and embracing individuality and differences leads genuine people to be less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them. Their fundamental assumptions about human complexity and their reluctance to view people via the lens of bias or preconceived expectations allows them a purer perspective that usually leads to direct and honest interactions and relationships. And all of the habits listed above stem from one core psychological characteristic of genuine people…
Genuine people have solid self-esteem.Having solid self-esteem means having stable self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low. (Narcissists, for example, have high but brittle self-esteem.) As a result, genuine people can tolerate and absorb failure and criticism, admit their faults, and be accepting of others because they are not threatened by imperfection. Indeed, having solid self-esteem means, by definition, that you can absorb both negative and positive feedback and acknowledge aspects of your character that might need work or improvement without diminishing your overall sense of self-worth.
For scientifically proven ways to manage failure and enhance self-esteem check out Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts (Plume, 2014).
Written By Guy Winch PhD.
Originally published on Psychology Today
Copyright 2015 Guy Winch
Image Artwork by Corina Chirila
It may seem like something out of a sci-fi movie, but living a parallel life may not be as far-fetched as you first imagined. Of course, it also depends on how you define the word “life”.
I have come to the understanding that all of us are living out parallel lives. Some of us are living out more lives than others, but all of us have at least one other life happening simultaneously as we move through our journey on Earth.
Let me explain…
Why We Are All Living Parallel ‘Lives’
The Higher SelfWhen a soul is ready to enter a body, only part of it reincarnates. The rest of your soul energy is left up in other realms and dimensions to carry out other ‘things’.
This part of you may be dormant or it could be living out a full and happy ‘life’ up in the higher realms.
This can also help to explain how a soul, who may have already reincarnated into another body and another life, can still visit and send messages to loved ones as the family member or friend they were once known as.
This essence of You that is in the higher realms, may also split or travel down to a dimension that is not Earth but is accessible to those living on Earth. This is the dimension or the realm of the Higher Self.
We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:
1. What is, is.
Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.
2. It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem.
Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.
3. If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.
Your brain is not only a producer of thoughts, but a receiver too. Depending on what you tune it into, it will receive such information.
Cosmic information is all around us. We are, in a way, pieces of this Cosmic information. Everything is connected with everything else, and everything comes from the same source, you, The Earth, The Galaxy, everything!
The way we live our lives can steer us away from the Cosmic purpose we hold in our hearts. That’s why, sometimes, the Cosmic Intelligence can send us messages and updates to steer us back towards our heart’s purpose.
Sometimes these Cosmic messages can lead us to revolutionary ideas and inventions the world hasn’t seen yet.
Anyway, we all get Cosmic Information from time to time. However, not many people are aware when these messages show up in their lives and most of them get ignored.
Here is how to know when you are receiving Cosmic Information:
1. Sudden Inspiration
Inspiration is a mental stimulation to do something, create something.
It usually comes when you start scratching a subject you are passionate about.
Sudden inspiration is a sure sign that you are receiving Cosmic Information as you are being mentally stimulated to do something that will lead you back to your purpose.
2. DreamsAccording to some legends, a part of your soul goes into another world while you dream. This is the dream world, a world between your unconscious mind and reality.
In there you can receive important messages from your own subconsciousness, and from the Cosmic Intelligence.
Having dreams where you get new ideas, insights and advices about things you can’t possibly know, are a sure sign of receiving Cosmic Information.
3. Subconscious SignalWatching a movie where you suddenly hear something that answers a question you’ve been recently wondering about. Hearing a song that tells a message you feel you needed to hear. Reading a sign on the street that resonates so much with something you’ve been asking yourself.
All those examples are ways the Cosmic Intelligence is steering your subconsciousness to communicate with you.
Listen to what it tries to tell you!
4. Gravitating Towards an IdeaYou might be writing your new book or watching new series, you might be talking with your friends or wandering with your own thoughts, but whatever you do there is a certain idea you keep coming back to.
Whatever you do you are been drawn to a certain idea.
This is a sure sign the Cosmic Intelligence is trying to steer your attention towards something you need to focus on.
5. GeometryThey say geometry is the language of The Universe. There are certain shapes that are called sacred and these shapes hold powerful messages for each person.
Having a certain shape reappear in your life, sacred or not, is a sure sign there is a message that you need to decipher.
Numbers, shapes, even letters, they are all geometry. So anything that reappears should be carefully examined.
6. Surge of EmotionsInformation does not come only in a form of rational thought. Sometimes information is abstract and emotional. It is this kind of information that gives us the deepest answers.
Getting a surge of emotions can come as a result of many factors.
But a sudden surge of emotions, usually accompanied with a sense of clarity and motivation is a sure sign of receiving Cosmic Information.
7. LoveFeeling a sense of love, not for any particular thing or person, but for everything around you, is one of the best states you can be in.
Even more, this is the state where your body’s receptors for Cosmic Light are activated making you able to absorb Cosmic Energy, receive its information and upgrade your DNA.
Coming to this sense of unconditional love sometimes happens suddenly, and you don’t even know why you feel like you feel that particular day. You just feel like you love everyone and everything. This is a sure sign you are receiving Cosmic Information.
There is a stillness and a peace in the early morning which is unlike any other hour of the day.
Between the time of 5am-6am there is a calmness that when observed, can really change your life.
Only a year ago I was between jobs, unsure of what to do next and uncertain of my path.
During this time in my life I heard the calling to wake up early in the morning and mediate in order to find clarity on what to do next.
Every morning at 5.30am I would drag myself out of bed, wrap myself in a blanket and retreat to my mediation space. Some mornings were easy, but other mornings I found that sitting in stillness was just not working, which led me to create my own morning rituals.
After just a few weeks of doing these rituals every morning for about 30 minutes per day, I started to gain clarity and receive clear and strong messages about my purpose. I also had a lot more inspiration and confidence throughout the day.
It was actually through my morning rituals that I decided to devote more of my time to this website and get it to a point where I could do it full-time. Now, just 9 months later running this website sustains me enough to make it my full time job.
Whether you are looking for clarity about your purpose, a relationship or even your life in general, adopting these 5 morning rituals that changed my life will also help to change your life too- If I can do it, you can too.
Here are 5 Morning Rituals that will help you discover your purpose and change your life:
1. Awaken EarlyDepending on where you live, getting up just before the sun is about to rise is the perfect time to start your rituals. For most, this means getting up between 5am-6am.
The timing you choose to do these rituals is important because the energy that is present in the early hours of the morning is said to help stimulate creative flow, harmony and also peace.
All of these factors are going to better help you tap into your purpose and clear out any mental clutter that may be blocking you.
When the world is still quiet and calm there are also less distractions and less things stopping you from stepping into the work.
Trust me, once you see how fun and amazing the work is, getting up this early will not feel as bad!
If you are already an early riser, aim to rise about 30 minutes earlier than usual, while it may be a lifestyle adjustment the rewards are well worth it!
2. MeditateDon’t worry, if the thought of sitting in lotus is not appealing to you, there are other ways you can do this.
While some mornings you may feel compelled to sit in silence, other mornings it may be beneficial to do a guided mediation.
There are plenty of free guided meditations available on channels like YouTube. Some of my favourite guided mediation instructors include: Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and Abraham Hicks.
You can also download sound bowls/gongs, healing music or inaugural beats and have them on a playlist ready to go for the morning.
You can sit up in lotus position, lay down or sit up with your back against a wall or propped up on a cushion. You definitely don’t want to fall back asleep, but being comfortable is also important.
What happens when we die?
This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. While I have always had some understanding of the afterlife and spirit realms, I had been feeling the urge to learn more and understand life, death and the realms in between.
I have read many near death experiences, with one of my favourites being from Anita Moorjani, who shared the details in her book- “Dying to Be Me”. But I wanted more, I wanted to understand things on a deeper level.
Of course, as soon as I put my intention out into the Universe, I came across Cherie Aimée, who was willing to share her near death experience with me.
What interested me the most about Cherie’s story was that it was not all filled with angels and harps. There is a lot more going on in the afterlife than we can even begin to comprehend.
In fact, there are really no words to even describe a lot of Cherie’s experience, which is why it is hard to piece it together in a way that is really concrete and easy to understand.
It is also interesting to note that every near death experience is going to be different depending on the person and what they need to see, learn and experience.
While there are definitely some core themes in all near death stories, it seems that even in the afterlife, our perception of things is different and based on our own personal experiences.
Cherie and I spoke for nearly 2 hours on all things relating to her experience in the afterlife.
You can read about her full experience in the book, God’s Fingerprints (Cherie’s story appears in Chapter 8), but here are my top 8 takeaways from our discussion-
1.) Dying is Easy The moment Cherie left her body, she said she felt surprised how easy it was. In her words, the process was as simple as walking through a doorway. It was easy, painless and instantly she felt like she had nothing to fear.
In fact, years of conditioning around being afraid or fearful of death melted away, and she reported feeling light, free and completely blissed out.
For Cherie, after she crossed over she saw herself in this ball of white light which felt comfortable, loving and very safe. She felt herself floating around in this ball of white light feeling formless and connected to everything.
2.) Death is Not the EndWhile floating in this beautiful, formless state Cherie understood that death was definitely not the end. She still felt very much “alive” but just in a different way. She wanted to communicate to her family that she was still around and that she still felt very connected to them.
While she wasn’t there physically, she was very much present with them and knew that the relationship she shared with each of her family members and friends would continue to grow and develop even in the afterlife.
3.) There is no Space or Time According to doctors, Cherie flatlined for over 90 minutes. After this, Cherie was kept alive only by a life support machine. While her situation was critical for many days, during her travels in the afterlife, Cherie felt like she was gone from the human world for many years. In her mind, it was like she had been away for a very long time.
Cherie said that in the afterlife there was no time and no space. This is very difficult for us to understand from this earthly realm, but everything felt expansive and time could not be measured like we do on earth.
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS LINKED TOGETHER IN A COSMIC WEB DESIGNED TO HELP EACH ONE OF US TO FULFILL ITS DESTINY.
We live on the material plane and the spiritual plane, simultaneously.
What we don’t realize is that both, the material and the spiritual are interconnected, they are mirroring each other.
The strings between them are hard to recognize. Most of us have no idea that what they think of as material is actually a spiritual manifestation.
We create so many confusing and contradictory philosophies about reality trying to explain it. Life becomes a puzzle and sometimes we put the wrong pieces together.
Thankfully, the Cosmic Connections come at the right time to guide us solve this universal puzzle.
What Are Cosmic Connections?
Cosmic Connections are people you meet because of an important cosmic reason. Everyone you meet has a cosmic reason, but Cosmic Connections hold the key to solving a problem or guiding you in important moments of your life!
These people come either in a positive or negative manner. They could be inspirations or challenges.
Regardless of the way they come, they only serve one purpose – to give us the necessary lessons we desperately need.
Our spirits are connected through a network of strings. When these connections recognize that a soul is stuck, or needs an important guidance, they intensify the spiritual magnetism to bring another soul that has the key for help in contact with the one in need.
From a spiritual perspective, the key for help might be a certain information or an energy that the other soul needs to unstuck and move forward.
Most of these Cosmic Connections happen subconsciously. It might be by deciding to go to another store that you will come to meet your Cosmic Connection, or suddenly getting the urge to speak to someone you haven’t spoken with in a long time.
What matters is, we recognize their sole purpose in our life.
So, how to spot if who you meet is a chance meeting or a cosmic connection?
These Are The 7 Signs That You’ve Met Your Cosmic Connection:
When a soul reincarnates, it carries with it certain behavioral patterns and physiognomy that come from the past lives it has lived. It’s like a character in a game that evolves and acquires different abilities, and those abilities remain throughout all the lives. They just add up and evolve as the game progresses.
If you want to dig deeper into the details of reincarnation, Roger Ebert’s “The Quantum Theory of Reincarnation” discusses it from the angle of quantum mechanics and is approached more technically.
Regardless, most of us have gone through this cycle. Some souls are newer some are older.
For souls who’ve been through this cycle a couple of times the signs might not show up at all. And that’s ok, they are still not evolved yet to know.
But for souls who have been through this cycle many times before, the signs are clear and intense. They slowly start to awaken and see the hidden dimensions of reality.
To be sure if your soul reincarnated many times before, check out these 5 signs:
Every spiritual journey has its own challenges to overcome. These challenges are not designed to break one’s spirit. On the contrary, they’re designed to strengthen the spiritual seeker, leading him to the right path by overcoming them one by one.
Here are the 12 spiritual barriers that may block you in your spiritual quest. Identify them and find ways to take them down.
1. You are limiting yourself.
Your life is endowed with unlimited possibilities. The path you are to trod is specifically designed only for you. There is no reason why you can’t follow it. Every resources you need is there for your asking. Life is abundant. Widen your horizon. Expand your thinking.
The wall that you see before you is erected by you. Limitation exists only in your mind. Take that limitation down and allow yourself to experience the abundance that God or the Source promises.
2. You are identifying yourself with your job.You are not your job. Identifying yourself with your job or job title is preparing yourself to get shattered when your job or title is taken away from you. You are more than your possessions. You must realize that you are over and above the things that surround you.
Your money-making endeavors are just a way to survive your physicality. Don’t allow it to pull you from your true nature by associating yourself with it.
3. You are into criticizing yourself.You are yourself’s worst critic. While it’s the right thing to improve yourself, criticizing yourself for not coming up with your expectations is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Stop providing yourself with unrealistic expectations. You are a human being, imperfect and subject to commit mistakes.
Accept your flaws humbly. Improve what you can improve, yet embrace the part of you that you can’t change. You’re beautiful as you are as long as you’re able to beautify the person inside of you.
4. You are feeling anxious.Sometimes your anxiety is based on your fears, especially the fear of the unknown. Unfamiliarity with the unknown must be dealt with total consciousness and not with fear. Fear cripples you, while total consciousness prepares you to what is to come.
When you feel anxious, trust that the Universe has its back on you. You are there because Someone called you. And that Someone would never ever leave you.
“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.” — Elizabeth Gilbert
You find a soul mate, or a spiritual partner, when you least expect it. Soul mates are the people who mirror you, make you aware of your repetitive patterns, and propel you forward on your journey. Being more aware of the different types of soul mate relationships you’ll encounter in life can help us take advantage of those opportunities and develop deeper connections.
Below are four types of soul mates I’ve identified:
1. Healing Soul Mates, These are friends who arrive with intention and provide you with life lessons that clear blocks from your past by mirroring you. Healing soul mates show up by divine timing — exactly when we most need to learn what they have to teach.These friends help us learn how to move forward. A healing friendship exists only as long as your purposes are aligned.
How Do You Recognize One?When the relationship or friendship escalates fast. This type of friend usually shows up when you are dealing with repetitive patterns and attempting to work through old issues.
How Do You Nurture This Relationship?Know up front that this friendship might not last. Like all relationships, it only works if the two of you can respect each other’s need for space and come together with understanding at other times. The intense bond can be redolent of a sibling or romantic relationship.The friendship may have lots of ups and downs, but if you can take the good with the bad, this type of relationship will be very fruitful.
2. Past-Life Soul Mates Because these people might have been a lover or soul mate in a past life, the relationships feel easy and comfortable. The connection is instant. You might feel like you will be friends forever — no matter how much time passes or how far apart you are geographically — and you’re probably right. This friendship will likely last for a lifetime because you will never want to run or hide from these friends.
These relationships can be carefree, but they also shape us. They teach us to trust and believe in ourselves. In this dynamic, both people feel comfortable telling each other anything. Nothing is off limits. You are accepted for who you are.
These are the friends who help you grow into the person you’re meant to be, and have the special ability to propel you toward your destiny without pain or suffering. Often, we try to turn these relationships romantic, but it is usually impossible. There’s a lack of physical attraction or a desire to sustain and protect your friendship.
How Do You Recognize One?
You meet this type of person when you’re truly being yourself. Past-life soul mates appear when you’re in your element and you don’t hold anything back. They always have your best interests at heart and will stop at nothing when asked to help you accomplish your dreams. This type of friendship will last a lifetime.
How Do You Nurture This Relationship?Stay connected. Check in by email or phone, just to say you’re thinking of them. These people come in and out of your life when you need to be directed, and they always bring love and fun. They help bring you back to your inner desires and reconnect you with your abilities. They are crucial in shaping you into the best person you can be.
3. Karmic Soul MatesThese people, too, are connected to you through a past life. These connections are deep and karmic, and often painful, as they involve ego struggles. Ego pain must be endured, because it is the point. Working through the relationship and learning to overcome suffering is often the only resolution.
How Do You Recognize One?Karmic soul mates have a twinlike connection. In times of intense emotion, you actually feel what they feel. Often, these mates have been reincarnated and are reliving some karma to break a negative cycle.
How Do You Nurture This Relationship?
Be aware of the energy you emit, and do your best to remove your ego. If you focus on the positive aspects of the relationship, you will draw positivity from this person. Remove your ego by focusing on what is best for the both of you. Do your best to give unconditional love and understanding to your partner. Unconditional kindness will make your soul mate feel at ease.
4. Twin FlamesTwin flames work together to overcome emotional and spiritual barriers. They can talk for hours without running out of things to say. They think alike, finish each other’s sentences, and naturally do things as a pair. This relationship transcends the ego. When you meet a twin flame, you get a sense of wholeness from the relationship. Not everyone meets their twin flame as a lover, but those who do will enjoy this relationship for the rest of their lives.
How Do You Recognize One?
You’ll feel like you have known the other person for many lifetimes, and you will rarely want to be apart. Before long, twin flames start to make collective decisions on everything.
How Do You Nurture This Relationship?
The most important aspect of a twin flame relationship is honesty, but relating to your twin flame feels natural and easy. You can probably easily communicate even without words. When both are completely themselves, twin flames can overcome anything. Every one of these relationships has the potential to end in heartbreak, but each one is also an opportunity to resolve and change your relationship karma. Every relationship that you learn from, and end by moving forward with love, can be marked as a success. It doesn’t have to last forever to serve its purpose.